THINGS I LEARNED LIVING IN (AND LOVING) NORTH CAROLINA

As I was cleaning out my computer, I can across this pearl.  No idea where it came from, who wrote it, or how old it is, but one thing's for sure!  It's the truth, the whole truth, and nuttin' but the truth!

ENJOY!

1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2)  There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in NC.

3)  There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in NC.

4)  If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5)  "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6)  It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7)  "Jaw-P?" means, "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"

8)  People actually grow and eat okra.

9)  "Fixinto" is one word.

10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12) Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin' about you."

13) The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

14) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time  it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

15) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.

16) You measure distance in minutes.

17) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

18) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

19) You know what a "dawg" is.

20) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car.

21) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and ketchup.

22) The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

23) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

24) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm."

25) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

26) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World."

27) You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good hog  killin' weather.

28) Fried catfish is the other white meat.

29) We don't need no dang Driver's Ed.  If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.

30) AND..... Last but not least - NEVER slap a man in the face that is chewing tobacco !!!

If you understand these jokes, forward them to your NC friends and to those who just wish they were from North Carolina!!!!! 

Happy New Year!