AMAZON sells sugarfree Gummy Bears in a 5 lb. bag for about
$25. There is a TINY disclaimer on the
bag that says
“Consumption of some sugar-free candies may cause stomach discomfort
and/or a laxative effect. Individual
tolerance may vary. If this is the first
time you’ve tried those candies, we recommend beginning with one-fourth of a
serving size or less.” [NOTE: A serving is 17 pieces]
Apparently this should be written in big, red letters!
Here is one (critical) review of this product – there are many others
in the same vein. I have never laughed
so hard at ANYTHING since I can remember…… I love that Amazon has these
reviews! And there are more just like this one!
Oh
man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi
Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar
substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order,
RUN!
First of
all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit
flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.
BUT (or
should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke
loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined.
Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning
from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to
what was going on inside me.
Then came
the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling
the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't
stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.
But wait;
there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara
Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt
like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential
flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a
bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine
possible.
AND IT
WENT ON FOR HOURS.
I felt
violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early
morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my
wedding in 2005.
I had
FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a
friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of
sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and
graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my
hands.
Silly
woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet
(because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she
really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.
Her
sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to
work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a
construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters,
landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets
on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped
that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to
decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.
If you
order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during
the aftershocks.
Right side – ‘critical reviews’……… ENJOY
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